A year, several weeks, and a few days has passed and my womb is still empty. I find myself mourning my freedom. I get the "enjoy your freedom now" or "just you wait" all the time. I stare at pregnant women, children in carts, babies--secretly begging Jesus to grant this desire. I want their insane lives, I want to corral children around a cart in the grocery store, I want what they have. My heart cries out to God, my womb aches to be filled. I struggle with connecting what my mind knows with what my heart desires. I know that God will give us children in His time, I know that He has a plan, I know that He is moulding and shaping me. I know that our Lord might have a different plan, I know that all things work together ultimately for His glory. I must find contentment and peace through Jesus. I put my trust in Him and only Him, He will see me through.